A Wedding Like None Other (in my experience anyway!)
I know I’ve been slacking in my blogging lately and I am just getting more and more behind on events… so forgive me if I start to seem a bit out of chronological order.
Forgive the length on this one too but I’ve got a lot to share here!! The purpose of my last trip to Houston (back in June) was another wedding… but this was not just your average, ordinary wedding, this was my dear, sweet friend Shilpa’s wedding!!
Now, Shilpa and I met our first year working for BigOil. We were never on the same team but sat very close to each other for most of my time there in Houston. We became very good friends over the years and I have to tell you that attending/participating in her wedding was truly one of the coolest, most unique experiences I’ve had. I’ve got SO MANY photos from the event… let’s see if I can share with you just a tad bit of what I experienced!
First off, unlike Western weddings this was not a one-day event. This was a 3-day, 4 event extravaganza!!
It all started on Thursday night… the Mehndi night.
***I’d like to add a disclaimer here that this story, above and below is a story of MY experience. Please disregard the spellings, rather the misspellings (as you always should with me anyhow) and interpretation of the events which occurred. This was my first Hindu wedding and things I say and express may not be totally factual but rather something I ‘heard’ or thought I heard or interpreted in such a way that may be incorrect. Ok, thanks for that.
***
So. The Mehndi night is a night where all the women close to the bride come together and paint all over each other, play crazy games and dance around all night long. OK, that’s not actually the case.
From what I understand, this is supposed to be like a ‘hen’ night, shall we say. The women (and/or close family members and friends) get together and help prepare the bride for her big day. Part of that is to decorate her… they do this with a paint made of henna - a chemical that stains. Shilpa sat very still for about 3 hours while someone painted with a great deal of detail on her hands and feet.
While she was getting that done, the rest of us socialized and did a few paintings of our own!
This is my hand, by-the-way!
On that Friday, we had two events. One in the morning:
Again everyone was totally decked out in the traditional Indian gear… but that does mean one can’t enjoy a good ‘ol cup-a-joe from Starbucks. haha (Actually, to be totally correct I belive this was actually some chai tea from Panera… but same idea.)
Here is a good look at ONE of Shilpa’s outfits that morning - so colorful and pretty!
So part of the morning ceremonies were to come before God (or gods I think) and him Him/them to bless Shilpa and to continue to be with her as she enters into this marriage. The ceremony was done by the Jain priest and all in Sanskrit (this is the language that all Indian languages originated from but which no one really speaks anymore). So I didn’t feel so odd because I couldn’t understand what the priest was saying… ‘cause no one else did either.
Shilpa and her parents sat up near the priest for the ceremony. They interacted with the priest in different sets of prayers all with different meanings. Again, most of the time I was not completely sure what was going on all of the time…
Now Hinduism (sp?) is a polytheistic religion and at one point the priest did say a quote that I recognized from the bible: if God is for us, then who can be against us (Romans 8:31)? So that made me feel right at home!
There were many different activities as well… one where all the men in the family gathered around this little tree and touched it. Not sure the significance there?
After the praying and different mini-ceremonies with trees, rice, money and little golden guys, everyone in Shilpa’s family lined up outside and sang Christmas carols. Ok, they were not Christmas carols but that is what it reminded me of… just because they were standing outside the front door (there really was no other reason). The songs were lead by Shilpa’s sweet grandmother. I thought it was cool how all the family members are so involved in many different aspects of the wedding. They really have strong family ties.
After the singing outside they all brought in gifts carried on their heads. The gifts were big swatches of material and some gold-jeweled-looking pots (not sure what was in them).
After everyone came back in it was time for Shilpa to change outfits again. Another strikingly beautiful color on the girl. Can she BE any prettier??
The reason for the change this time though was so that she could wear something cotten because she is about to get messy. The next ceremony is one of cleansing. Getting her ready for the wedding day to make her as beautiful as possible. Everyone got in line and got to smear a chalky-whitish-yellowy substance on Shilpa. Back in the day supposedly this was to lighten the skin because fairness was seen as beauty. Shilpa didn’t need any help in the beauty area so we went pretty tame on her. After rubbing the stuff on her we put a red paint dot on her forehead and a piece of rice. Then you touched the sides of her temples and then cracked your knuckles on your own head (see below). This was for luck of some sort if your knuckles cracked a lot.
Of course Shilpa tried to keep her brother as CLEAN as possible!
Here is a nice close-up of the paint and rice on the forehead (again - not totally sure of the symbolism here).
Again, at different points there were different types of ceremonies happening with different sets of family members and friends. Here is a ‘girls gone wild’ shot.
… ok, not quite.
And all the while holding a coconut. Also a good shot of the paste….
Ok, so I haven’t even seen Suril at this point, but I nabbed this shot from one of his family members.
Apparently the guys get to do the whole cleansing gig as well… as you can see, Suril’s family was not so kind to him as Shilpa’s was to her!!! Yike.
After the cleansing and ceremonies were done, Shilpa went around to thank people. Apparently, it is a sign of honor to touch someone’s feet before you approach them. Most people, of course, would humble themselves and try to stop Shilpa as she would try to touch their feet. Not her brother…. ahhh… brothers are all the same, aren’t they? haha
Friday night is the dancing event called Gharba (I hope that is spelled correctly?). Apparently this is a specific dance for the people from the state that Shilpa is from (Gujarart??). Not all Hindu/Indian weddings have this event but Shilpa grew up with this type of dancing so it was a part of hers. Here is Charu (the lovely young lady who I stayed with and was MOST helpful in all the ensuing events) and myself ready to head out the door to the Gharba.
The Gharba was held at the Jain temple which Shilpa and her family belong to (actually I don’t know if you would say ‘belong to’ in this type of reference). We spotted Shilpa when we first stepped in the door. Again, just beautiful!!
At this point I had not yet seen Suril and was kinda wondering when he would be showing up. Hopefully before the ceremony at some point!
So here he made his grand entrance (well… next to grand. The really grand entrance comes later). He came struttin’ in at this point with his family in a little bit of a processional all in his whitish-creamish duds. Very dapper! There was a reception/greeting line so it was nice that everyone got to say a personal ‘hello’!
So once Suril and his family were in the door, they got the party started. Shilpa and Suril went to the dance floor to get the dancing started and then the family joined and then everyone busted it. I actually did jump out right in the beginning. I knew that it would pick up fast so if I wanted to take part I needed to do it in the beginning.
So I guess gharba is a little like the two step (for those Texan readers)… there is sorta some guideline steps and then you can put your own little spin to it. It was fun!! The pace did pick up later and there were some people who were OBVIOUSLY more experienced! It was really cool to watch them.
There was a second type of dancing which included sticks.
This once was a little more like line dancing. You got in two lines across from a partner and then hit your sticks together and together with theirs at different times. This one was cool and got you to interact with… well…. everyone. haha Was fun!
Ok, so you think you’ve already seen all the celebration, colors and jewels and fancy-pants there is?? Oh no. There is more. As I walked up to the reception hall I could see a crowd of people and something sticking up from them…. oh! That was Suril! He made his grand grand entrance on a white horse!! THAT was cool. His family was dancing around and there was real live music even!! Besides the fact that I was sweating from head to toe just standing there in the 115 degree Houston heat (it wasn’t really that hot but it was really hot) it was really one of the coolest scenes ever. If I ever figure out how to post video clips from my camera I will post a shot of this. Way cool.
Here is the proper way to greet someone!! Take note of the amazing colors… dang.
At once point Suril jumps off the horse and joins the dancing and music. A real, true, celebration!!
Once we got inside, Shilpa got her chance to make her grand entrance. Breath-taking!!
At this point we are still in the lobby area. Shilpa came down the stairs and met Suril where he was standing underneath an arch-way. Notice that they are both carrying a wreathe of flowers. When they met in the middle they exchanged the wreathes.
A funny thing happened there… when Shilpa went to put the wreathe on Suril his family lifted him up in the air. I heard that they do this as a sort of ‘contest’ because whoever bows (to take the wreathe) last, will be the head of the house-hold. Suril won.
Somewhere in the mix Shilpa received a sari from Suril’s family. She put this on to make her next entrance into the reception hall. She was accompanied by the men in her family.
They all gathered under the mandhap (please excuse my spelling massacre here) for the ceremony. The women in each of their families sat to each of the sides of the mandhap. There was a lot of stuff going on here which was nicely explained to me in the bulletin that Shilpa had made for the ceremony (which I neglected to take with me - ugh). Again, most of this was in Sanskrit so not really anyone understood a lot of what was being said.
After the ceremony Shilpa’s family escorted them out to the limo. This really was a real goodbye as Shilpa will be (already is by now) moving to New York and away from Texas for the first time ever. It was a bit emotional!!
And if you can even believe it… they changed outfits AGAIN!! And I know what you are thinking… blue IS her color!!
There was a full dinner for the reception and of course an EXCEPTIONAL speech made by a dear, white, blonde friend of hers… heehee - who could that be??
Yes, I did get another cool outfit for the wedding… was actually very comfortable and I really loved the colors!!
Here is a couple of cool shots I found from some others at the wedding. Just wanted to show the color and glitter. Really is just an awesome culture!!
This whole event was just really one of the most unique and cool experiences that I’ve ever had. This particular group of people was just so inviting… wanting to share their culture with me. Shilpa is one of my dearest friends and I know she put a ton of hard work into the event and it showed. It went off flawlessly and was totally fun and fabulous!! I am amazingly blessed to know this girl and her incredible family. Suril is a lucky, lucky man… I’m so glad to know the both of these two!!
The colors, the singing, the dancing, the traditions… wow. This was an unforgettable event. THANK YOU SHILPA!!! (and family and friends!!!)
Wow very well written and explained!! Awesome pictures. I can’t believe so much goes on. Glad you got to come over for it….cause I got to see you too!!! Just 92 days until MY big day and you will be here again. YEAH!
Comment by Sasha — July 28, 2006 @ 11:49 am
[…] can forgive her since it’s really long um, thorough. Read the post: A Wedding Like None Other (in my experience anyway!) […]
Pingback by Luke Gilman’s High on the Hog Blog » Blog Archive » Jessie’s cultural experience in a very traditional Indian wedding — July 28, 2006 @ 12:54 pm
Wow that was very, um, thorough. Great pictures. You blended right in.
Comment by Luke — July 28, 2006 @ 12:56 pm
A Peek at a Traditional Indian Wedding here in Houston
My friend Jessie recently took part in a very traditional Indian wedding here in Houston and just posted a great account of her experience on her blog. Link: A Wedding Like None Other (in my experience anyway!)…
Trackback by Metroblogging Houston — July 28, 2006 @ 1:06 pm
Jessie,
I woke up early this mornin (to work) .. yes again!.. and I got your email that your blog was updated..
I am so impressed by you.. your story telling, your amazing ability to capture the details.. WOW.. you have truly brough tears to my eyes and a huge smile to my face this day.. As I read through the story from your eyes, I was brought back to that very happy week and couldn’t help but think how lucky I am to have you as a friend..someone who is SO willing to fully participate in another culture and appreciate each and every moment of it..
Thank you so much for coming.. thank you so much for the blog.. You have made my day..
LOVE YOU!!
Shilpa
Comment by Shilpa — July 29, 2006 @ 4:13 am
Jesse,
Thank you so much for putting this together. You are a great story teller, and have captured so much of the culture, fun, colors, beauty and people that were part of Shilpa’s wedding. I know it was hard for you to keep it this short (although other might not think so), as I myself have told the story and it does run away with you. There is just so much to share, and so many details that are worthy. So … THANK YOU! And it was wonderful meeting you at the wedding.
Hugs, Cheri
Comment by Cheri — July 29, 2006 @ 6:14 am
Hello Jessie, I am from Queensland, Australia. I clicked on to your site (I was researching info about tradional Indian weddings for an assignment) I got all the information I needed but more than that it was lovely to read your comments about your friend and her wedding. How beautiful it was, so much colour and tradition.
Comment by Heather — November 5, 2006 @ 3:12 am
Wow, so helpful. I write a childrens book called Becka and the Big Bubble. In the latest adventure, Becka goes to India and at one point sees a Hindu wedding. This was great to give me a better feel and some pictures to inspire our artists.
Thank you. And of course, I now want to marry an indian woman (not for the party), but wow those eyes.
www.bbbubble.com Becka and the Big Bubble
Adam
Comment by Adam Schomer — April 3, 2007 @ 9:50 pm